Fathers and Sons
by Sophia Hawkins
Summary: Oneshot set after "All the Proof". Shortly after Benny's death, an unexpected visitor stops by to see Kelly.


Fathers and Sons

A/N: I had the original idea for this story last year shortly after "All the Proof" premiered but never got around to writing it, until now. It's a sad one but I hope everybody enjoys it.

There was a knock at Kelly Severide's door. It was late, and everybody who had stopped by to pay their respects about Benny had already called it a night and gone home. He couldn't think that any of them would've come back for something that couldn't wait until tomorrow, and if not one of them, he couldn't think who else would be paying him a visit.

He unlocked the door and opened it up, and froze when he saw who was standing outside.

"Voight."

Hank Voight stood on the other side of the door, a brown paper bag subtly gripped to his side.

"Hey Kelly," the Intelligence sergeant said.

Kelly blinked. "What're you doing here?"

"I came to pay my respects," the cop answered.

For one very brief moment, Kelly was sorely tempted to slam the door in the cop's face. He wasn't sure at first what made him change his mind. Then a distant memory came back to him. Years ago, right after Voight got released from prison.

_"You're Benny Severide's kid, aren't you?"_

_"That's right."_

_"Oh Benny."_

It had been years since Kelly even thought about that day, but suddenly it all came flooding back, including that strange grin on Voight's face as he recalled Benny. It had never occurred to him to ask his dad how he knew Voight, suddenly any fight he had in him left and he held the door open for the cop.

"I know this is a rough time for you, Kelly," Hank said as he showed himself in and set the bag on the table and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. "Man shouldn't be alone at a time like this, man shouldn't _drink_ alone at a time like this."

It sounded like a good offer to Kelly. He zombie walked to the kitchen and got out a couple glasses.

"How're you holding up?" Hank asked as he poured their drinks.

Kelly shrugged. "I don't know."

Well, that was a lie. He actually knew very well how he was doing. He felt like crap, he felt like a worthless piece of garbage for the way he'd treated Benny the last time he saw him, and everything he'd said about him when he didn't show up at the diner.

"Small reprieve," Hank said, "at least Wallace and 51 are safe now."

Kelly squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block that little fact out. It would've been bad enough if Benny hadn't done what he did before he died, but that he had, had called in every favor he owed to secure Boden's job, and Kelly didn't know until it was too late to say 'thank you' or 'I'm sorry', to him, that was worse. It would've been better if Benny had just let him down once again.

Kelly opened his eyes and tried to drink the whiskey but his throat felt like it was closing itself to the liquor through the tears that were stuck in it and threatening to rise to the surface with every passing second.

"I'm really sorry, Kelly," Voight told him, "I liked your dad, we went back a long ways."

Kelly nodded, trying to blink back the tears building in his eyes. "I kind of figured..."

"Kelly...I know what Benny did."

Kelly's eyes widened in shock. "What?"

The cop nodded. "Boden told you that Benny cashed in all his favors to get rid of Gorsch...he came to me that day...he knew I keep records on everyone and everything that could ever be used for a bargaining chip. He told me what was going on, asked for my help. Of course I was obliged to offer my services...he told me he was on a mission to do right by you for the first time in a long time."

Oh God. Kelly set the whiskey glass down and just about shattered it against the table.

"Did he tell you?" Kelly hardly recognized the voice as his own, it sounded even closer to the edge than he felt.

"Tell me what?" Hank asked.

Kelly slowly blinked. One last attempt to ward off the tears he knew were about to come, and come hard. "What I said to him the last time I saw him."

"He said you came to him for help, and that he was going to do everything in his power to come through for you," Hank answered.

That did it. Kelly felt tremors running through his entire body and felt like his feet were glued to the floor as he doubled over sobbing.

Voight grabbed him just before he fell completely over, and put his arms around the lieutenant and pulled him in a tight embrace.

"I know, I know," Voight said sympathetically, "It's hard, I miss Benny too, he was a good friend."

Kelly felt his whole body sag against Voight's as he shook his head and struggled to speak, "You don't know...you don't know what happened."

Holding onto the sergeant simply to keep balanced on his feet, Kelly choked out the whole story of his last visit to Benny, all the things he'd said to him, what happened when Benny hadn't shown up as planned, the call from Med, when they said he was too late, Boden's revelation in the chapel of what Benny had done.

Feeling himself starting to slip, Kelly held even tighter to the cop as he forced out the thing that haunted him worst of all. "I can never say goodbye. I can't ever tell him I'm sorry...oh God, why didn't I go check on him when he didn't show up? He'd still be alive."

He felt the cop shaking his head against him. "You can't think like that, Kelly. It was just Benny's time, that's all there is to it, nothing anybody could've done would've made any difference."

A howling sob tore loose from Kelly's throat, that was something he couldn't accept. He clung to Voight as his felt a series of spasms rising up in his chest as every breath he took turned into a hiccuping sob bordering on hyperventilating.

Hank kept Kelly supported with one arm and with his free hand he patted the distraught younger man on the back as he calmly told him, "Kelly, your dad loved you, and he was always proud of you, you know that."

"How would you know?" Kelly asked through his tears.

"Because he told me, all the time," Voight answered, "he was always bragging to me about you, about what you accomplished, what you became..."

A high pitched gasping sob escaped Kelly.

"I know, I know," Voight told him as he rubbed Severide's back, "Part of why he and I got along so well is because we're a lot alike, we didn't always do right by our kids but it's not because we didn't try. Justin and I had a lot of ups and downs, but I know he died knowing I loved him, and there's no doubt in my mind that Benny died knowing you loved him."

Kelly just cried harder as he told Voight, "But I never got to tell him."

"Kelly, that doesn't matter, he knew, he _always_ knew," Hank assured him. "Whatever was going on at the time, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Now I know, it's going to take time, but you're going to get through this."

Eventually Hank moved them over to the couch to sit down and wound up holding his best friend's son in his arms for the next two hours before Kelly finally wore himself out and fell asleep with his head pressed against Voight's shoulder. Hank eased Kelly back against the cushions, got up, grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch, covered the sleeping fireman with it, and quietly exited the apartment.

Voight stopped a few steps from the stoop, and shook his head as a stray tear made its way down his face. He looked up towards the sky and said emotionally, "I'm gonna miss you, you son of a bitch." He ran his hand under his nose as he sniffed, then swallowed hard, and looked back up, and added, "I'll keep an eye on Kelly, that boy needs someone watching him."


End file.
